The 102 Reasons, Vol. 4 (#41-92)

41. The team never seemed to embrace Jon Rauch’s sweet ass tattoos.

42. Lastings Milledge spent 107 games total in the third, fourth and fifth spots in the lineup.

43. Elijah Dukes still can’t afford to make rent.

44. There is absolutely no Half St morale, other than the panhandlers racket. Even the guy playing blues on the sax wasn’t blue.

45. The cherry blossoms weren’t “cherry” enough

46. Despite unanimous support from the organization, MLB would not allow the “Overloaded outfield sponsored by Five Guys“

47. The bull-pen could not keep up with the Chief’s demand for a steady supply of hat starch. (Rod)

48. Despite the lack of evidence, we’re sure Dan Snyder had something to do with it.

49. Youngsters never took to Tim Redding’s “How to breathe through your eyelids” session.

50. Zimmerman hangs out with the hot chick on the 7th floor.

51. Non-bouncing seats along the third base dugout.

52. The Anacostia still suffers from river envy with the Potomac.

53. Team was riddled with injuries throughout the season, taking out the best players. (Mr. Chris Cusick)

54. El Nino.

55. Migraines caused by continuous loop of Lastings Milledge’s rap album in the clubhouse.  (Mr. Pittsburgh Page)

56. Gas prices.

57. Metro fares.

58. Not enough parking, wait, yes enough parking… (The Jeww)

59. The inability of the pitchers to get out of the 6th inning.

60. Too Busy Campaigning for Obama. (Beach)

61. The Dodgers left Brooklyn.

62. Nick Swisher is from West Virginia. (Dubs V)

63. Too many players got the annoying “ooooooo” treatment when coming to bat.

64. Too much faith in young arms.

65. All the pieces were already peeled from the cutout of the model, therefore, there was no motivation to win or alternatively, too few pieces to peal away from the cutout left her naked after just 40 wins. (Beach)

66. What the hell happened to “Nats Fan Tim the Interjector”? His poignancy was impeccable. (Take a guess)

67. No legitimate power hitters.

68. After someone stole the ice pack from Dmitri’s hoagie briefcase his blood sugar dropped too low. (Rod)

69. The DC fan base’s inability to replace the Orioles “OH” during the star spangles banner hurts local identity.

70. Bowden couldn’t get enough Reds on the team. (The Jeww)

71. Clubhouse workers filled kitchen mini fridge with Miller Chill, killing morale.

72. Felipe Lopez could not actually flip or flop anything to anyone covering second base.

73. Despite popular belief, everybody messes with the Jesus.

74. Bob Uecker quit when he realized no pitcher actually could get the ball “just a bit outside,” thus ending his new catch phrase “Juuuust a few rows deep” from catching on.

75. The pilot light went out in the Natscast studios - again.

76. Because Emilio Bonifacio is the future. (The Jeww)

77. TTP.

78. Not enough games against the Pirates on the schedule. The Nats were a more than respectable 4-3 against ye ol’ Buccaneers this season. (Mr. Pittsburgh Page)

79. Even American University students thought that Clint was too metro. (Rod)

80. Dewey and the Raph have yet to get proper recognition for their contributions to society from the Nationals brass. Still waiting.

81. Tim Tebow skipped recruiting trip to circumcise orphans in the South Pacific.

82. Jake Taylor’s knees finally gave out after trying bunt home Willie Mays Hayes to win another big game

83. Wily Mo Pena was never the same after hearing that he was not actually the bastard child of David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez

84. Inadequate pitching, fielding, and hitting. AKA the baseball essentials. (Prophet Steve)

85. With the pronunciation of GM Bowden (or is it BOW-den) up in the air, fans and players alike didn’t know who to yell at.

86. Trainers never bought the Derek Jeter Hurricane Baseball Training Machine.

87. Lack of Nats players in Eastern Motors commercials. (Rod)

88. Ronnie Belliard never cut those ridiculous dreads.

89. Utah State is still waiting for their first 5-star recruit.

90. Five dollar seats were located in a gale wind force.

91. Followed Wizards model in building franchise.

92. Lastings Milledge took bad advice from his entourage and decided to make Medellin.