Posts tagged ‘Beard of the Week’

Part 1 of 2. In honor of the upcoming All Star travesty Extravaganza, I have devised a supreme collection of men that subscribe to the Ancient Greek saying “There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.”

There is a long standing tradition of growing and then prohibiting facial hair throughout the history of baseball. For those interested in reading a nice little historical perspective, click here. In addition, for those not attuned with beards, see this wonderfully delicious site.

Lets get to the meat, The All-Time All-Star Beards of the Week:

Starting Pitcher: Rick Sutcliffe

Not the best, and certainly not the worst of beards. But it is full, and it is red. Red is a rarity in facial hair, and when those that are cursed with the demon color choose to grow a full beard, the result is automatic hall of fame. And the answer to the the question, Rick, is that we like you. But we like your beard better.

Beard Title: Frederick I Barbarossa, Holy Roman Emperor.

Catcher: Mike Piazza

Piazza single-handedly took the mustache, its principles, and its following and threw them under the bus. It is neither a Handlebar (see Fingers, Rollie) or a Fu Manchu. Piazza’s delicately trimmed flavor savor is a hybrid style. The Handlebar is intended to extend from ones face, creating the allusion of the motorcycle steering mechanism. More importantly, along with the Fu Manchu, the hair is to be attached to the upper lip ONLY. Just trimming your facial hair in the looks of a mustache, does not a mustache make. Piazza made the “new” Fu Manchu a popular choice, taking away the necessary time dedicated to growing it properly.

Beard Title: The Faux Fu-Fu Manchu.

First Basemen: John Kruk

What, are you going to argue with me? Are you looking at this picture? Need more? He has a book titled “I Ain’t An Athlete Lady”, talks openly about drinking massive quantities of beer, he grew up 7 miles from me, and when he plays golf he only takes a wood, a 7-iron, and a wedge. And to top it all off, the combo hair/beard makes him resemble the most extreme badass biker ever.

Beard Title: The Harley Davidson.

Second Basemen: Joe Morgan

I remember this former two-time, two-time, MVP for his keen style of beardism. Proving to be a true man of the times, Morgan would alter his format constantly. As you can see, the Mutton Chops were present for at least one summer. Have you tried to grow serious sideburns? It does not require too much growth ability, but it does require a steady hand. A few bad strokes and one can spend the entire evening trying to even them out. One stroke leads to the next, which induces anxiety, and the next thing you know you don’t have any eyebrows. Trust me.

Beard Title: Ambrose Sans the Stache.

Shortstop: Rafael Belliard

If you haven’t listened to podcast #5, then stop reading right now. Listen to it, wait for the Belliard conversation, then come back. Good? Belliard hit two homeruns. Ever. I was in attendance at Shea Stadium in NY for the second. It was 1997, not 1994 (my bad). It was amazing. He hit it in the upper deck! He also has a mustache. His middle name is Leonidas. His cousin is Ronnie. Case closed.

Beard Title: The Tomahawk Buzzcut. Look it up.

Third Basemen: Casey Blake

The only current player to make the squad, Blake deserves all the accolades he can get. A mediocre player in terms of stats, but an all star in terms of beard growth. Good color, good trim, solid visuals. At times he tries to change up the style, but at his best, the beard is Full. Kids, take notice. If you want to grow a beard, a Casey Blake poster should be on your wall.

Beard Title: The Intimidator.

Outfield: Reggie Jackson

Part of the Regrowth in the 1970s, Jackson showed up to spring training with a mustache in 1972. He not only refused to shave it, per team rules, but also promised a full beard. No man wore a mustache since 1914. 1914! Everything about this guy was over the top, including his homeruns, his homerun celebrations, his homerun staredowns, and his guns. It is always impressive when a career .260 hitter gets elected to the Hall of Fame. There has to be a legitimate reason for this, and the reason is his ushering in of the bearded man in Major League Baseball.

Beard Title: The Jackie Robinson

Outfield: Dave Henderson

Hendu, another masher in the OF, followed in the footsteps of Joe Morgan. He was always changing his style. The most memorable, to my mind, is this Horseshoe from his A’s tenure. I don’t really have too much to say about the guy. He was a beast, played for a bunch of winning teams, and you could parallel park in his mouth. Always smiling. And he has one of the more memorable homerun reactions of all time. If Michael Strahan would grow a Hendu style you could not tell the two apart.

Beard Title: A Hop, Skip, and a Gap

Outfield: Robin Yount

Even though Yount played most of his career as SS, he isn’t knocking Belliard out of the starting lineup. I don’t care if he had the most hits of any player during the 1980’s, won two MVP awards, and a Gold Glove. The OF spot is deserved though, as he won the 1989 MVP and collected his 3,000 hit from the 8. Yount brought the Horseshoe mustache into the mainstream and was the prototype for future generations. The importance factor is high, and he gets selected to the team for his contributions to society.

Beard Title: Not a Fu Manchu, but a Horseshoe.

Left Handed Specialist: Al Hrabosky

The Mad Hungarian created his own style, channeling a real (FINALLY!) Fu Manchu. No imposter’s here. In 1977, Hrabosky had to cut his hair and shave the mustache due to new team rules. He subsequently left the team at the end of the year and continued to pitch into the 80s for a few other clubs. This is what we need in society, a man with principles. Would you quit your job if someone told you to shave? Think about that. Solidarity, dude!

Beard Title: Self Explanatory - The Mad Hungarian

Set Up Man: Rollie Fingers

Well now we are getting into the creme de la creme. Fingers originally grew the Handlebar to get a $300 bonus from Athletics owner Charles O. Finley (Note it was the same year Jackson showed up with the Jackie, 1972). Revolutionary, exquisite, and memorable. This mustache takes serious dedication. Would you put wax on your face? Would you spend over a year growing out your upper lip so you could put wax on it? For more information on Mustaches, check out the American Mustache Institute.

Beard Title: Snidely Whiplash

Closer: Bruce Sutter

NOW THIS IS A BEARD. Sutter is probably the most well known baseball beard of the modern era. His plaque at the Hall is bearded, he was one of the first to use the Splitter effectively, and he also was the first player to be elected to the Hall without ever starting a game. I would argue that his career never took off until he was in St. Louis, out from the tentacles of the no beard policy in Chicago. Although his stats are similar and he won a Cy Young in 1979 - he was not a premier closer until the growth of the Beard. Do yourself a favor and spend 20 minutes looking up pictures. When asked if he knew he was the first player to sport a full beard on the plaques in Cooperstown, Sutter replied “I didn’t know that. But there’s no real significance other than I don’t like to shave.”

Beard Title: I Don’t Give a Crap, I’m Not Shaving.

I hope you enjoyed our All-Time All-Star Beards of the Week, because it took over 5 hours to compile. So forgive us if some of the commentary isn’t up to standards. If you feel we have missed anyone, or would like to share your nominations, please email or leave comments. Next week, our All-Time All-Star Terrible Beards of the Week.